The Martial Way... ...My Way!

A Day at the Royal Dutch Marines Training Camp

Doorn 2006

Fair play to the IBK. It has to be said that I haven't had this much fun in a long, long time. Andy and I met up with "the boys from Ronin" at the recent training camp in Doorn. We had an opportunity to train in all sorts of styles. Jiu Jitsu, Kyokushin, Kyokushin Budokai, Sub Grappling, Krav Maga. It was all there for the taking and we took as much as we could! Loads of training, loads of arseing about on the assault course. All in all, more fun than I could poke a stick at.

A quick look at the pictures should tell you all that you need to know about what was, without a doubt, the best day I've had this year. Just click on the slideshow to be taken to the complete gallery.

Thanks to Ronin for making it so much fun and thanks to Shihan Jan de Bruin for making it such a fantastic day!

To view the complete slideshow; Click Here

Visit My Dojo: MMA Ireland : Photos

Back in the Land of the Living

The Prodigal Returns

First things first. This is the third time that I've attempted to post this entry. For some reason, blogger keeps crashing on me. But, this is a story that I'd like to share. I've done a fair amount of publishing my strengths on this site, it's about time that I shared my weaknesses too.

It's been a long, long time since I wrote a few words online. In truth, it's been a long time since I've been in the position to write as a student of full contact martial arts. My own training took a serious downturn when I headed to Ireland. Teaching aside, I have done little training of consequence since August 2005! Counting injury time, I've trained very little in more than a year but I've been teaching a lot. As much as I enjoy teaching, it's not training and training was a part of me.

Taking the step of opening a club in Ireland has been a great move. We're growing, slowly but surely and I can honestly say that we don't have a single member that I don't admire for some reason or another. Not one.

Catch up on club news HERE; or...
Have a look at some of our training photos HERE.

Being a trainer is something that I really enjoy. Passing on my thoughts and my approach to training, seeing good fighters become better and novices aquire the confidence to push themselves, helping them to become someone they didn't believe they could become, is something that I feel very strongly about.

That said, I would prefer, first and foremost to be a student and a PRACTITIONER of the Martial Arts, mentally and PHYSICALLY. In this regard, my personal exposure to personal training, kata and full contact kumite has been sorely missed. So, like a little boy lost, I decided it was time to find myself again.

I recently wrote to Sensei Eric Van Vaerenbergh in Belgium. My message was simple, "I need to train again. I need to find myself again. I need you to help me do it. Please can I visit your dojo in Belgium?"

Sensei Eric's response was equally simple, "Of course, you are always welcome in my dojo".

Three weeks later I was sitting on a plane headed for Belgium and, I must admit, I was a little aprehensive. Sensei's standards are high. Very high. I felt sure that I wouldn't be able live up to those standards, my fitness levels have deteriorated significantly and I hadn't done any real kumite in more than 6 months. I'm not sure that I could have matched his standards at my peak... ...but NOW?

The plane landed and I was greeted by Sensei Van Vaerenbergh and his Uchi Deschi, Bert Van Geystelen, at the arrival gate. I was instantly thrown back into the world of tradition as we greated one another with a respectful bow of the head and Bert insisted on carrying my bag to the car.

Sensei and I talked for hours that night. During the 1.5 hour journey from Brussels to Blankenberge, at the hostel that I was to stay in that weekend and in the restaurant later that night. We talked until around 2am and I was reminded what it is to speak to a like minded individual who's knowledge, experience and skill far outshines my own. Once more, I was the student in a foreign land.

During our conversations, I came to the absolute knowledge that, once again, I was in the right place and in the right hands. My aprehension all but evaporated. A little premature perhaps, training had not yet begun. In the back of my mind I knew that the rude awakening was yet to come.

Rude Awakening

I awoke at 7:30 knowing that I would need a couple of hours to get my brain functioning before the first training session. At 10:00 Sensei arrived with a big smile on his face and said, "You'll train hard today. But, I think that's what you want, isn't it?"

I returned his grin and we both considered this to be my response.

Just 5 minutes later we were at the Dojo and I was introduced to Eddy Zoete, a fellow student of Sensei and my training partner for the morning. Like me, Eddy is both Student and trainer. Eddy runs his own dojo, is a certified (and well respected) Muay Thai instructor and early on in our session together, I was to learn just how poorly conditioned I have become.

We began with "light exercise" as a warm up. Pushups, sit ups, abdominal exercise, squats and the like. Light for Sensei, light for Eddy and - in days gone by - light for me. But, things had clearly changed. After just a few minutes exercise I began seeing spots. Everything went dark, my blood pressure was having fun and my heart was trying to figure out which one of the garbled messsages for pressure change it should respond to.

Old injuries burned like hell and screamed for mercy. My brain didn't know what do to with the pain, in truth, it had forgotten. I was disgusted with myself. Training had barely begun and already I felt like I needed to stop. I think Sensei Eric could see the sadness in my eyes. The self disgust. I needed to stop.

I didn't stop but fortunately for me the warm-up did. Sensei rightly pointed out that my boxing skills needed some work. So, Eddy and I put on some gloves and started working on the technique combinations that Sensei called out. Very quickly a thin film of sweat began to interfere with my eyesight and my breathing had become laboured. I was beginning to feel more than a little frustrated. My technique had become rusty, my mind had slowed and my body had been replaced by that of an ageing man.

The training was great though. Skill and fitness regression aside, I was having a blast! I knew that I was close to vomiting but I also knew that I could maintain the pace and keep down yesterday's lunch. That's when I heard the fatal words, "OK! Time for some ground fighting." I was doomed and my lunch new it.

I had been maintaining the balance but only just,. I was already looking through a dark tunnel in my vision and I knew that ground figthing would be the finger to push me over the cliff edge. That extra bit of effort that would close off the tunnel and send my vision into literal darkness.

Still, you can never really be sure until you try...

Down to Earth with a Bump

We began training on the ground and within a very few seconds I knew that I had reached the point of no return. I had no strength left and I couldn't see. My vision was blacked out. My vision came in and out of darkness and I tried to continue no matter what. It wasn't to be.

Eddy threw me around like a rag doll and I was able to offer little, if any, resistance. Every time I tried to put effort into my movements, my vision would evaporate and all would go dark. That's when it happened. The moment where I finally understood how low I had become. I vomitted into my own mouth. Trying to hide the fact that I was choking on my own bile, I bowed to Eddy and Sensei, excused myself, and headed for the toilets filled with a sense of self-loathing and shame. As I left the dojo, I saw the look of surprise in Sensei's eyes. Was it surprise? Or, was it disappointment? Perhaps both.

The lavatory and I had a very personal conversation and it got to know everything about my eating habits over the previous 24 hours. For one brief second, I thought to return to the dojo and ask Sensei to forgive my rudeness and conclude my training for the day. As it turns out, my mind and spirit had not quite sunk to the depths of my fitness levels and I simply returned to the dojo and continued to train with Eddy. Sensei continued to call the exercises, Eddy continued to subject himself to what was likely the most unproductive training session he had every experienced.

Finally, after some two and a half hours of training, it was done. I had returned to the world of training and survived - but only just. I had crashed to earth with a bump but it was done and I was still alive. My spirits however, were dashed.

I thanked Sensei and Eddy for their time and their efforts and needed to be left alone with my thoughts.

Soul Searching

Back at the hostel, I lay out on the bed and started to mentally tear myself apart. I wasn't angry because of the pain you understand (although, I was already having trouble walking). I was experiencing a feeling of utter dejection. It was a strange moment. The culmination of multiple thoughts and emotions;

I had let my Sensei down. He puts faith in me, consistantly and without question, and I shamed him. I had let myself down. Being without training partners is no reason to fall so far behind. Embarrassment. Hate. Anger. Frustration. I wasn't back after all. If anything, I was more lost than ever.

A couple of hours later, I met up with Sensei and his family to walk along the beach, eat some food and talk. I tried to forget about training for a few minutes but it wasn't to be and Sensei knew instantly that I was not myself. The conversations that took place that afternoon will remain between Sensei and I but his words hit me right between the eyes. For this, he has my continued gratitude and respect.

Round Two

We returned to the hostel to collect my training gear and headed off for the next round of training at the dojo. Sensei had made a call to one of his students, Sven Braem. At 17, Sven has already made quite a name for himself on the european full contact circuit. Sensei grinned at me again, "You'll like him a lot. They call him 'Hellboy'."

Coming Soon:

Part II of The Belgium Visit - An Afternoon with Hellboy! A Positive Ending!

Visit My Dojo: MMA Ireland : Photos

Any time, Any place, Anywhere...

The Age of the Train

I think I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms. It's been such a long time since my last training session that I actually feel guilty. "Forgive me Sensei for I have sinned. It's been four weeks since my last training-session."

One of the interesting features of my shiny new life in Dublin is that I am now a public transport commuter. It's great. No driving at all. Just me, a train, an MP3 Player and about 200 sweaty commuters. The train ride in and out of work takes about an hour. It takes about 20 minutes to walk at speed from the house to the train station and another 15 from the station to the office. It's great. I can't remember the last time I did so much walking. I had no idea how lazy I had become as a car driver.

Anyway, the point of all this, is the training time that's available to me on the train. That's right. On the train.

A Time to Heal

I have two small problems at the moment. One is finding the time to train and the other is finding the place. It's proving surprisingly difficult to find a location in Dublin. However, there is very much an up side to the wait. I am being forced to take the break from training that Charley has been recommending for months. Only a few days ago, my ankle finally popped back into place and I feel much stronger overall. Although I'm certain that my reaction times and general fitness levels are suffering, I'm sure this small pause is doing my body the world of good.

A Time to Plant

Kata is something that I've always enjoyed. "Modern" martial "artists" have been quick to dismiss the benefits of Kata and that's fine by me. However, I'm certain that my commitment to the benefits of Kata have seriously influenced my abilities as a martial artist. Strangely, the thing that I have missed most (in connection with training) since leaving Germany is having the space to practice Kata. And that's where the train comes in...

All that lovely time. A whole hour of uninterrupted thought. Wasted time or a time to plant? I've taken to playing classical tunes on the MP3 player, closing my eyes and visualizing kata. Sounds easy doesn't it?

Have you ever tried it? The focus it takes to perform a kata using only the minds eye is surprising. I began doing it purely as a memory aid. A method of ensuring that I don't lose to much during this break. What shocked me was just how difficult it was (to begin with) to focus on a whole kata, correctly paced, WITHOUT allowing the mind to wander. To perform a kata physically without 'thinking' about the next move is easy. Many call this "muscle memory". As soon as a technique is executed the body simply begins the next. It knows what to do. In fact, martial artists generally spend lots of time perfecting the art of NOT thinking about their kata.

Focus. That's the name of the game. Kata in the mind is not the same as Kata with the body. At first, performing even the simplest of kata is a surprisingly difficult task. However, one is quickly able to mentally perform strings of various kata, back to back, without pause. I like to think of it as planting mental seeds. Also, the time it takes to perform the kata mentally is the same as it would take to perform physically. Before you know it, one hour on the train just isn't enough.

A Time for Every Purpose

Trying to find just about any opportunity to train without training has become a little game for me. I'm certainly not the first to play it. Bruce Lee used to do the same thing. "Practice at every opportunity," he said. "When ordering a drink at the bar, try balancing on one leg. No one will see it."

Those trains can be rather busy. A seat isn't guaranteed and standing there for an hour, gripping a hand-hold for a white knuckled ride into town, isn't a rarity. This happened a few days ago. Bruce Lee's words popped into my head as I stood there, eyes closed, music playing in my ear, hands gripping onto the nearest support for dear life, my mind walking Kata. At first, I was a little annoyed at another lapse in concentration and focus. Every opportunity!

I released my grip on the hand support and continued to stand, eyes closed, with the train traveling at speed and my whole body being 'gently' nudged from side to side. Did I have the balance for it? Would I embarrass myself and fly headlong into a bunch of distressed passengers? Would I look like a prize idiot? Could I perform an exercise in balance and reaction (to the unpredictable movements of the train) whilst appearing to stand perfectly normally? I certainly couldn't (and wouldn't!) perform the exercise in any form of Karate stance!

Much to my own surprise, I pulled it off and managed to stay standing for the whole journey (without drawing any attention to myself). Any time, any place, anywhere.

Of course, I had to push it. Just before reaching my final destination I caught myself thinking, "maybe this isn't so difficult after all." That's when the train came to another of its sudden and grinding halts. Once again there was no warning, only this time my my mind had wandered...

You guessed it. I flew headlong into an unsuspecting seated passenger and learned another valuable lesson;

It is more difficult than you might expect. It isn't as easy as it looks. And, I have a habit of becoming over confident and paying the price in embarrassingly spectacular ways.

Visit My Dojo: MMA Ireland : Photos

Sunny Ireland

A Fresh Start

I've finally arrived and it may not be sunny but it's certainly fresh! It's damn hot in Germany at the moment, so arrival in the "land of the cold and the rain" is actually a blessing! That said, if cold and rain is a blessing, then I must have done something very, very good in a previous life because I am being blessed to death this weekend! I'm fairly exhausted after the work that Andy and I put into the move but my family and I are here in Ireland and I'm quite excited to see where this change will take us.

As luck would have it, there's a boxing club in the town so I'm hoping I can convince someone to let me use the gym/bag for a few weeks until I get the dojo up and running. I haven't been able to catch the place open but I'm sure I'll be able to speak to someone sooner or later.

I've been doing a lot of research into the Irish MMA and Freefight scene and I'm pleased to say that it's a lot more solid than I had previously suspected. I've already received a surprising number of enquiries about the new dojo and I haven't even found a place to rent yet. I've also received some great emails from people involved in the scene helping me get to grips with things. Thanks to all that have welcomed me and helped me.

There's nothing really exciting to report right now but I thought I'd check in and say hello!

Visit My Dojo: MMA Ireland : Photos

Why? Part III

Background

Recently, I was asked: "What do you hope to achieve with your training, ultimately? What is the purpose of putting yourself in physical danger and sustaining injuries?"

This is the third of a series of entries that attempts to answer the question, "Why?" In Parts I and II, we took a look at areas that included "Physical Health and Fitness", "Self Esteem", "Perfectionism" and "Budo as a Way of Life". This time I'd like to focus on "The Martial Arts as an Element of Budo " and the "Social Circle" of Budoka (practitioners of the Martial Way).

Martial Arts as an Element of Budo

The term "Martial Arts", is a surprisingly controversial one. It has come to represent the practice of the sporting, artistic and combative aspects of fighting systems that often date back many thousands of years. The very idea of "the martial arts" is now defined differently by all that practice them. I would like to make clear my understanding of the term martial arts and what it means to be a martial artist. This is my view and I remain open to yours.

Budo is a way of life for me. I do not like the misunderstanding that 'Budo means Martial Arts'. Budo is a way of life. Budo means: "The Martial Way", not "Martial Arts". The Martial Arts are simply an element of this martial way.

There are many kinds of martial art. There are internal arts that focus on the cultivation and use of internal energies (Chi, Ki). There are external arts that focus on Biology, Biomechanics and Physics. There are arts that combine the use of both internal and external energies. The are arts that focus on acrobatic and aesthetic movement for the purpose of sport (essentially; gymnastics sports which have developed from the martial arts). There are also arts that focus on combat for sport.

There are arts that focus on full contact sporting applications and there are arts that focus on soft (or zero) contact empty hand combat. There are arts that focus on the use of weapons and arts that concentrate solely on self defence. There are arts developed and put to use by the modern military. We have arts that mimic the actions of animals and arts that take advantage of pressure points. Some arts concentrate on the redirection of an opponents physical energy. Others, confront the opponent head on.

Many focus on the "Martial" and many focus on the "Art", some do neither and focus solely on sport. Put simply, each person must find the art, sport, fighting style and/or martial art that suits them and their purpose.

Now, let's define what being a martial artist means to me:

"Martial Artist": Someone who is mentally and physically prepared for combat and expresses themselves, during times of duress and conflict, in a way that is both skilful and creative.

You see, for me, in order to be a martial artist, one cannot separate the Martial from the Art. One must be (truly) prepared for physical conflict. One must be experienced in, and prepared for, combat.

In order to be a martial artist, one cannot separate the Art from the Martial. One must be able to express oneself in a creative and skilful manner.

Put simply, a martial artist is both a fighter and an artist. For the true martial artist, combat and art are two sides of the same coin and they cannot (must not) be separated. To focus on combat may make us a fighter but it doesn't make us a martial artist. To focus on sport and aesthetics may make us an artist and an athlete but it doesn't make us a martial artist. To focus solely on combat sports (UFC, Pride, MMA, K-1 etc.) may make us fighters and athletes but it doesn't make us martial artists.

For these reasons and more, I practise full contact martial arts. I practise all round fighting where anything goes. But, I practise as an artist that seeks creativity, perfection and skill in my actions. Mostly, I fail. But, always I try.

Social Circle

Humans, as a species, are social animals. The degree to which social interaction is important in the lives of humans is truly astounding. Consider the following article: Research In Mind-Body Medicine Shows That Social Interaction Accelerates Healing

My previous entry in this diary outlines my feelings concerning the comradery of our Dojo in Germany. It is, without a doubt one of the major reasons why I train there.

Recently, I had the pleasure of training with 280 fellow Budoka (followers of the martial way) in Budapest, Hungary. We trained hard (and played hard!) for six days and I had the pleasure of meeting some truly amazing people that I am certain will remain a part of my life (despite being separated by the borders of countries and continents). I am not suggesting that all 280 people are 'like minded'. However, the percentage of like minded individuals (that I met) certainly lay in the high 80's.

Could you imagine walking into a bar, nightclub or any other social environment and find that you could describe 80% of the people as 'like minded'? I've been involved in other 'club/sport based' social groups. 280 Rugby players may all feel the same way about Rugby, but do they have the same general view on life? 280 golfers may all have a similar view on golf but are they generally 'like minded'? This will be considered in greater detail in Part IV, when we consider "Philosophy".

As humans, we pride ourselves on individuality yet yearn (in general) for social interaction. The martial arts allow me to express myself (the artist) under duress (the martial) whilst at the same time being a part of a social whole.

Maybe I'm just lucky. I attended my first Karate lesson when I was just 8 or 9 years old and I've been in love with the Martial Arts ever since. I've attended many, many schools and experienced many, many styles over the years. Sadly, in the main, I have met more than my share of charlatans that pose as martial artists. However, I have also met men and women that have become my brothers and sisters in the martial arts. Without these people, I would still be the 'searching boy'. Instead, because of these people, I have 'found my way'. This way certainly doesn't suit everyone. However, I have come to learn that, much to my surprise, it is a way that suits and is followed by many.

Coming Soon:

Why? Part IV

- Philosophy
- Self Defense

Visit My Dojo: MMA Ireland : Photos

Moving On...

Tough Times

It's been a really tough night. We trained as normal and took a big bunch of pictures of the members of the Dojo. Why? Because the time has come for me to move on.

My family and I are relocating (again!). We're moving to Dublin, Ireland at the end of this month and this will have a massive impact on my training, working and family life. But, in keeping with the purpose of this diary, I want to focus only on the impact this change will have on my training.

Those who know me, understand that the comradery of our Dojo is one of the biggest reasons why I train there (Steiger, Aschaffenburg, Germany). Leaving it behind will, it seems, be a far more painful experience than I expected.

These are the people that have brought me this far; they have given freely of their time, skill and knowledge. They have trained with me, sweated with me, fought with me, talked with me and allowed me to become a part of a training environment that is truly special. They welcomed me into an environment where I was able to train with passion, without losing my sense of compassion. Because of these people, I have been able to train and fight hard, as a member of a band of brothers, without the need to fall victim to the tendancies of the 'testosterone filled dojos' that are (sadly) typical of Full Contact Martial Arts.

To think that these people, my regular training partners, my full time instructors and in Andy's case my brother in the martial arts, will no longer be around me each and every day stimulates in me a sense of loss that borders on mourning. My only option then, is to focus on the postives that will come as a result of this change.

Mark Walter once commented, "Anyway you look at it, life is a pain. To me, martial arts is about becoming a better version of me. Over time, it can bring about a very healthy and productive inner transformation. Any improvement, or anytime we help someone, involves some degree of sacrifice or pain."

In order to continue with my training, I am forced to open my own Dojo in Ireland. This is the only way in which I can continue to train all three aspects of the all round fighting system developed by Kaicho Bluming (Kyokushin Budokai). Let's be clear, I didn't wake up one day and say, "You know what? I think I'll open my own Dojo." Rather, this is simply something that I must do if I wish to continue with my training.

Order from Chaos

Last week, Andy and I trained with 280 fellow Budoka in Budapest, Hungary. Five days of training that began at 6.30am and finished at 10:00pm each day. Andy and I met some truly amazing people: Leo, Marcello, Danielle, Olav, Michael, Marc, Darren - thank you all for helping to make this camp an experience that I will never, ever forget.

Being at this camp gave me the opportunity to speak with the most senior members of the Board of the International Budo Kai. With a lump in my throat I approached Shihans Eric van Vaerenbergh and Jan de Jong to discuss the possibility of opening a Dojo in Ireland under the name of the International Budo Kai (IBK).

Opening a Dojo was a decision that I had already made. However, I simply wanted to ensure that my Dojo gives all credit to Kaicho Jon Bluming 10. Dan, the man that developed Kyokushin Budo Kai and brought Karate to Europe. To my mind, the best way ensure Kancho's recognition is to gain the approval of the IBK and see to it that the Dojo bares the Tsunami (the seal and symbol of the IBK).

Truly, I expected that I would be told: "You must be joking. Come back in ten years then ask the same question again."

Instead, I received the approval of the IBK and an expression of respect from Shihan van Vaerenbergh that will remain in my heart and soul forever. Thank you Eric Sensei for your assistance, thank you Shihan de Jong for your support, thank you to the members of the board for your approval, thank you Kaicho Bluming for your trust. My loyalty to Kaicho Bluming will not waver until the day I die.

New Beginnings

Kaicho Bluming once said, "Without Kokoro, Budo is an empty shell". The Japanese word Kokoro can be translated to mean, "mind, heart and spirit, as one". Kaicho's words burned a place in my mind and heart the first time I heard them and they are the 'mantra' that pushes me to excel when I train. Kokoro is my reason to get up when I fall and to push when all strength has left me.

Kaicho's seven little words sum up my entire approach and philosophy concerning the martial arts. For this reason, as a representation of my personal philosophy and a dedication to Kaicho Bluming, the new IBK Dojo in Ireland is to be called: "Kokoro Mixed Martial Arts"

The website is not yet finished but the basic design is there. Anyone that's interested can find the site here: www.mma-ireland.com

Change of Pace

The next 'big event' in my own training calendar (excluding finding a location for the Dojo and possibly some students!) is set for January of 2006. I will be attending another training camp - this time in Croatia - and this gives me five months to build the Kokoro Mixed Martial Arts school and 'rebuild' myself (in particular, to recover from my injuries). So, there will be a significant reduction in the intensity of my training over the coming months, a lot less fighting and a lot more Kata. This could mean that I will have less to write about. However, I will continue to share my thoughts with those that wish to hear them.

Eric Sensei and Charley Sensei have both agreed to continue my training and have agreed to act as Chief Instructors and Advisors for the new school. So, I will visit Germany and/or Belgium on a regular basis (certainly a few days each month) to learn from these truly great Budoka. I thank them for their time, trust and commitment. I will do my best give them that which they deserve: A dedicated and humble student.

On a final note: the overwhelming support I received from the members of the IBK Board was a complete shock to me. Please accept my gratitude for your trust and you offers to support me in the devlopment of Kyokushin Budokai in Ireland. In particular, my thanks and appreciation to Shihan Eric van Vaerenbergh, Shihan Jan de Jong and Shihan Marc Howes. Thank you for your support, advice and encouragement.

Osu!

The Martial Way is Back Online!

An Apology

As you may or may not have noticed, I've been unable to update this blog for nearly two weeks because of an error in the template code. In the end, I gave up on waiting for Blogger.com to help and got working on a new template. So, here I am again - new look, new posts, same old me... ...to those that have been waiting patiently, "I'm sorry for the delay!" I'll get started on some new entries as soon as I can.

Excitement Builds

There are many, many changes taking place in my personal and professional life right now. They will have a major impact on my practice of martial arts and I will go into greater detail once things become 'public knowledge' (there are a few people that need to be informed personally before I 'announce' on the internet).

Great changes in life often come with great deals of stress. So, I'm very much looking forward to the next week. It's sure to be the ultimate stress reliever!

In just two days, I'll be training my little cotton socks off, for five days straight, at a Kyokushin Karate summer camp in Budapest, Hungary! No doubt, that'll be the source of some new material for this diary. I've been taking a rather long break from training (OK, I showed up for own 'fight night' but I really did need it) and it's killing me. Most of my injuries seem to be healing up nicely but my right ankle and right hamstring seem to be of major concern right now. They just don't seem to be getting any better. That said, they won't stop me attending the summer camp. I've been looking forward to it for a long, long time and no bruised up ankle, nor torn up hamstring is going to keep me away.

For those with an interest, here's the site for the hosts of the summer camp: Kyokushin Hungary.

Visit My Dojo: MMA Ireland : Photos

Something's gotta give...

The Bad and Ugly

Ok. It's official. My injuries have finally got the better of me. I've reached the point of no return. Last night was a great night, full of fun, frolics, new experiences and brand new injuries...

Andy and I arrived at the dojo bright eyed and bushy tailed. We had a great night planned and were looking forward to learning a shiny new kata (sequence of karate techniques). This past week has been a busy one and kata was just what the doctor ordered. We spent this weekend training 6 hours daily with Shihan Leonardo Voinescu (7. Dan Kyokushin Budo Kai, 4. Dan Kyokushinkai, 4. Dan Judo) and my muscles were already visiting the dark side of painsville.

We skipped the 'traditional' warm-up and decided that some light (semi/zero contact) sparring would do the trick to get our muscles nice and warm. Usually, Andy and I end up like a couple of giggling school-kids when 'light contact' comes into play. Why? Because 'reflex' is a funny thing. The body has a habit of doing things long before the brain has a chance to notice what's going on.

A fist makes its merry way toward my face and my brain doesn't register, "It's OK. It's only semi-contact." Oh no! That would be far too easy. Instead it screams, "Aaaghhh! Fist!!!" and launches a front kick to the testicles before I really understand why my foot is connecting with something warm, soft and squashy. Now, before you start thinking, "Poor Andy!" please remember that The Curse of the Killer Reflex works both ways.

For example, I initiate a rather half-hearted (remember, this is warm up) mawashi geri (round-house kick - a bit like kicking a football) towards Andy's liver. Now, Andy's conscious brain knows full well that the kick will barely connect and cause no pain whatsoever. The problem is that his subconscious (aka. The Curse of the Killer Reflex) seems blissfully unaware of this fact. The end result? His elbow drops into a protective cover position over the kidney and my foot connects rather abruptly (and seriously painfully) with the pointy end. Bugger!

The thing about very light contact is that the foot (or any other body part for that matter) isn't in a state of tension when contact is made. Therefore, it is not prepared to take any kind of blow. Indeed, it's fully relaxed when 'The Curse of the Killer Reflex' drives the pointy end of an elbow into the bones of the foot leaving a golf ball sized bump as a 'welcome present'.

I don't really mind. In Andy's case (and my own) there is enough control and good common sense to ensure that no serious injuries occur. The problems really began a little later. It seems that our light contact sparring set the precedent for the rest of the evening. Charley (Sensei) arrived and said, "That's a good idea. Everyone - light sparring as warm up!"

Andy and I continued planting golf ball sized lumps on eachother whilst giggling at the 'ouch!' sounds that seemed to accompany every third strike. Everyone else took the hint, partnered up and got started with the warm up. No problemo - right? Wrong!

Firstly, the warm-up eventually became the class. Once the fighting started, it never came to a stop. A quick warm-up exercise between Andy and I, had somehow become the the next hour and a half for all of us. Fine by me. I love sparring. After all ... this was light contact.

Unfortunately, not everybody is capable of understanding the term 'light contact'. If you've been following this diary, you'll know that I am certainly not shy of full-contact (and the pain that comes with it). However, when Sensei says, "Locker bleiben! Und ohne Verletzungen!" [Nice 'n easy and no injuries!], I assume that he means it and begin to exercise the control neccessary to spar ('exercise' form of fighting) without inflicting damage and/or painful contact on my opponent.

Not every one - it seems - has this control. I am not really talking about technique here. I am talking about 'self control'. We typically spar full contact and once fists, feet and bodies start flying, the blood gets warm and before you know it, not everyone is in complete control of themselves.

There will always be those that believe 'kumite' and 'sparring' is actually fighting. I'll never really understand why they think this and I'll save my full viewpoint concerning kumite for another time. For the sake of understanding however, here's the short version: "Kumite is a method of free-form technical exchange that allows participants to better themselves through the practice of technique in a non-compliant scenario."

Anyway, to cut a long story short (or rather, to make a long story not quite as long as it could have been!), I ended up with ice on my arm, ice on my foot and the sudden realisation that I no longer possess a major body part without injury. This can't be good. Not good at all.

For the last nine months or so, Charley has been trying to convince me to take a break of some kind. I've tried 'light contact' instead of 'full contact' and any other method I can think of to avoid 'taking a break'. Sadly, the end result has been more and more injury (protecting one injury can easily lead to the receipt of a new one).

I can't ignore them any longer and a 'recovery break' is essential. In three weeks time, Andy and I will attend a Kyokushin Summer Camp in Hungary. Six long days and nights of hard training and my body simply isn't up to the challenge. So, last night I grandly announced to Charley, "That's it! I've finally learned something!". To which he replied, "I seriously doubt that!"

Despite Charley's whitty riposte, I'm going to take his advice (at last!) and spend the next three weeks out of the Dojo and in the gym. I cannot begin to tell you how much I hate weight-training but it's better that doing nothing for the next few weeks. So, expect a lot of moaning and groaning over the coming weeks!

The Good

Kata is something that I really enjoy. I realise that many people no longer see the need for it. They perceive it as a relic of the traditional martial arts. The recent boom of Mixed Martial Arts competition (a new name for a truly ANCIENT concept; feel free to ask any practitioner of Jiu Jitsu) has left many people believing that 'sparring is king' and 'kata is useless'. I completely disagree but that's a story that must be saved for another day. I can say only this; if you are one of those people that believes kata to be useless then you have been very badly taught.

Learning a new kata is like going to an ice-cream parlor and finding a brand new flavour on the menu. It doesn't take away from one's love of ice-cream, it just offers something new and further expands one's appreciation of the tasty treat of frozen cream.

Learning new kata is a bit like solving a puzzle for the first time. Getting past the feeling of, "wait a minute - that can't be right", and moving into the feeling of, "Aaahh!!! Now I get it!!". Andy and I had many such moments last night and I remain grateful to those that came before us. Those that took the time to put complete systems into a moving human record that is being past from generation to generation.

Full contact karate isn't always about pain. Sometimes, it's about the ice-cream.

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In Sickness and In Health
I really didn't feel like going training tonight. I've been ill for most of this week and couldn't train at the Dojo last Monday. That really bugged me - so I forced myself to go tonight. It's been a most enjoyable evening and I only threw up twice.

It was a funtastic sunny evening and I arrived at the Dojo (training hall) thinking; "I feel like I'm married to this life. In sickness and in health."

I popped my head into the Dojo and Charley (Sensei) wasn't there. I thought, "Oh dear. Here we go..!" I knew what Charley's absence meant. Andy (my training partner and something of a sadomasochist) would be leading the session.

He shouted across the Dojo, "Shane, get things started off with some jogging..."

"No problemo!" says I.

"Now..." says he.

I started running around the Dojo like a frightened ferret, sticking closely to the the four walls and the others followed suit. No problems so far. After a couple of circuits I foolishly thought, "this isn't so bad..."

"I meant outside!" says Andy...

"Ah...!" says I.

So, that was the start of something that I very much enjoy. We all headed outside, barefoot and wearing white pajamas, onto the open road for some light jogging. First, we jogged down the steady incline that runs directly in front of the Dojo. Then, we head up hill as home owners look out from their windows and shout, "what the f%$& are you people doing?" (of course, they shout it in German). At the top of the hill (about 1.5km from the Dojo), we did our usual bare knuckle pushups on the road, followed by a steady run back in the direction of the Dojo. Nice night for it really. I have to admit that I really enjoy doing this - there's something very 'traditional' about it.

On the way back, I could see a familiar figure in the distance. It was tall, it was big and it was hairy. No, it wasn't Bigfoot, it was Charley (Sensei) jogging down the road toward us with a big grin on his face. I got the feeling that the 'real fun' was about to begin.

We all met in the middle and continued our jog to the Dojo. We arrived at the car park and I headed instinctively inside. What a fool I was.

I had failed to notice that look in Charley's eyes that says, "anybody feel like breaking stuff?"

Tameshiwari (breaking techniques) is an important element of Kyokushin Karate. Why? Here's a brief explanation from www.karatebreaking.com;

"Any sword that is sharp enough to cut has the potential to do damage, but the sharper the blade, the deadlier the weapon. A razor sharp blade is formidable even in the hands of an unskilled fighter, while a sword with no edge is of little use even in the hands of a master. Breaking practice allows [us] to hone [our] weapons to maximum effectiveness ... Without the ability to hit hard, [we] are not truly practicing combative martial arts."

So, breaking strong inanimate objects is a fairly important practice. The thing is, when Charley wants to start 'breaking stuff', he really means 'stuff'. Not boards, tiles or any of the other boring 'prepared' items that most people practice with. Oh no! Charley just takes a look around the outside seating area and decides, "Sod it! That bench is bit old looking..." Then, before you know it we're smashing it to bits with elbows, fists and palms. Talk about doing things 'the old fashioned way'!

I'll take some pictures of the places and objects that I'm talking about and post them here (maybe I can even get Charley to pose for the odd pic or three). A few pics will probably do a far better job of setting the scene.

After some rather sexy Hiji (elbow) breaks and a couple of Shuto (knife hand) breaks, I was forgetting all about how sick I was. Then it happened, the piece of old park bench that decided to 'fight back'. I brought my hand down with an apparently clean Shuto (so I was told later). My hand hit the wood and... nothing. I was certain that I could hear the wood laughing at me. That's when I realized that the 'sound' in my ears wasn't laughter. No, it was pain. Good, old fashioned, 'oh shite my ears are ringing' pain. I thought, "Bugger!"

Should have given up there and then really. Unfortunately, knowing when to quit isn't one of my strong points. So, I tried again. What an idiot. I really wasn't concentrating at all. My hand came down with the speed of an express train with no brakes... ...and completely missed the wood. It's a pity that I can't say the same for my wrist bone. It certainly didn't miss. In fact, it was bang on target. I have the ruddy great bruise, where my wrist used to be, as proof. This time, I really could hear the wood laughing at me! I could also see little birdies flying around my head and through my ears. I had to smile. What else could I do?

Lesson learned: Attacking a defenseless piece of wood doesn't always guarantee victory.

On the positive side, training in the Dojo was up to it's usual excellent standards (thanks to Charley). Andy and I continued with "pick a fight with the heavy bag" after the scheduled training and now I'm finally home. I think I've sweat out just about any signs of the cold from which I've been suffering and on the whole it's been a great night!

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Why? Part II

Background

Recently, I was asked: "What do you hope to achieve with your training, ultimately? What is the purpose of putting yourself in physical danger and sustaining injuries?"

This is the second of a series of entries that attempts to answer the question, "Why?". In Part I, we took a look at "Physical Health and Fitness" and "Self Esteem". This time I'd like to focus on "Perfectionism" and "Budo as a Way of Life".

Perfectionism

Shihan Eric Van Vaerenbergh (Kyokushin 4th Dan and Shihandai of IBK Belgium) recently said, "the greatest opponent in the martial arts is yourself." Eric certainly isn't the first to put it this way. Indeed, for martial artists, this maxim is well known.

Consider the effort that a gymnast puts into perfecting his techniques. Continuously training in the hope that a panel of judges will award a higher score than that awarded to peers and competitors. Since the gymnast is aware that 'perfection is the goal that no human can reach', training never ends. The pursuit of the highest possible levels of skill and form becomes a way of life for the gymnast.

I'm also aware that achievement of perfection is not humanly possible. For me, as a martial artist, the pursuit of technical and philosophical perfection in my art is not entirely dissimilar to the gymnast.

The difference (perhaps) is this; I am my one and only Judge.

For some people, this would be like getting a "get out of jail free" card in a game of Monopoly. After all, if I am my only Judge, what assurance is there that I am judged to the highest standards and not to a weakened standard that allows for self praise and a false sense of superiority? I'm sure it's safe to say that most martial artists have met people that fall into this trap. The answer is fairly simple:

As a person; I'm a perfectionist. As a Judge, I am my own worst nightmare.

Budo is a way of life. It is about aspiring to the highest standards in all that I do. Physically, mentally and spiritually. For anyone that is a perfectionist by nature, the martial arts present the ultimate challenge.

Ultimate is a word that is all too often overused and misunderstood. The Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary defines "ultimate" as, 'the best or most extreme example of something.' It is in this sense that, for the perfectionist in me, Budo (the martial way) is the ultimate challenge. It is the highest level of challenge available to me.

Every moral fibre, every physical cell, every thought, every sense of self, every movement in kata, every decision in combat, every choice in life; Budo demands that I reach and maintain the highest standards in these things and more. For the perfectionist; what greater challenge exists than that which challenges every aspect of one's very existence?

Budo as a Way of Life

Budo is, of course, a Japanese term. Translating Japanese into English (or any western language for that matter) is not always an easy task. Very often, the smallest of Japanese words carries a mountain of complex meaning. It is generally accepted that the term 'Budo' is most accurately (and literally) translated as, "the way of combat". However, during the 20th Century the term was 'adopted' and came to represent the martial arts in general. The term no longer describes only the physical and technical aspects of combat and has come to encompass physical discipline, an attitude of mind, a command of the spirit and the strongest of moral codes.

The most famous of the Japanese warriors are the Samurai. For this warrior class, Budo was indeed a way of life and combat was about life or death. For them, "Budo" focused soley on the martial and combatative aspects of that which we now call martial arts. However, they adhered to the strictest moral codes of conduct known as the 'Bushido'.

The term 'Bushi', was given to the ancient class of Japanese soldiers that were decendant of traditional warrior families. The term "Do", translates as "way". Therefore, "Budo" is known as "The Way of Combat" (Martial Arts) and "Bushido" is known as "The Way of the Warrior".

The 'Bushido' was a moral code of principles that developed through the Samurai (military) class of Japan. As with all moral codes throughout human history, the Bushido was heavily influenced by the prevailing religions of the time (in this case; Zen and Confucianism). The term Bushido came into use in the 16th century and it's content varied and changed. It grew and evolved as the standards and status of the Samurai class evolved.

Since the code was developed under a Japanese feudal system, it contains elements that many westerners in todays 'peaceful' times have difficulty relating to. It's core elements have remained unchanged throughout history and it's primary principles are not dissimilar to the ethics of chivalary as promoted by the european medieval knights.

The Bushido emphasises; loyalty, self sacrifice, justice, wisdom, honesty, a sense of shame, refined manners, purity, modesty, frugality, martial spirit, honor and affection.

Today, the term Budo has come to encompass both the martial way (physical) of Budo and the code of ethics (spiritual) promoted by the Bushido. It is in this sense, that I have choosen to follow my Budo.

"With great power... ...comes great responsibility". This is a line taken from the Spiderman comics. It is the advice that was passed to Peter Parker. A simple 'code of conduct' that allowed him to keep his 'abilities' in check and use them for the good of the world around him. The Samurai lived in a world where physical conflict was a reality and, for the most part, they kept themselves in check with Bushido.

Of course, today's western world is no feudal system but the possiblity of physical conflict is an everyday reality. I believe that it is useful to be physically prepared for such encounters. I believe that the world can benefit from adherence to a moral code of conduct, with the highest values, that is independant of religious obligation. For me, Budo has become a neccessary tool for survival in the modern world.

It is my belief that a martial artist that does not undertand and accept both sides of the Budo coin - the martial way and it's codes of conduct - possesses no coin at all. Rather, this person has attained nothing of value and has failed to grasp the essence of Budo.

Click Here to Read: Why? Part III

- The Martial Arts as an Element of Budo
- Social Circle

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Why? Part I

My Way

Before reading on, it's important to recognize the truth of the following words:

"The martial arts are viewed and defined differently by all that choose to follow the martial way (Budo)."

It is not really true to say, 'I follow Budo as a way of life'. It would be more truthful to say, 'I follow my Budo'.

I have often been asked, "Why do you do it?" Some want to understand my interest in the overall philosophies of Budo. Others want to understand why I would put myself at risk of injury. Many cannot understand my choice of full-contact above other less 'combative' forms of martial art. Countless others simply cannot understand why I would be interested in the martial arts at all.

Recently, I was asked: "What do you hope to achieve with your training, ultimately? What is the purpose of putting yourself in physical danger and sustaining injuries?"

The thing that surprised me a little was the depth and complexity behind the responses to these seemingly simple questions. For me, my motives are clear and I tend not to question them. My interest in the Martial Arts was ignited the very first time I attended a Karate lesson as a child. I was eight years old at the time. I'm now thirty-one and, if anything, my drive is stronger than ever.

I'm going to attempt to give a broad understanding of my motivations for following Budo as a way of life. I truly believe that I could write an entire book on this subject alone. But, let's limit things to the following areas (in no real order of importance):

- Fitness / Physical Health
- Self Esteem
- Perfectionism
- Budo as a Way of Life
- The Martial Arts as an Element of Budo
- Social Circle
- Philosophy
- Self Defense
- Human Nature / Aggressive Outlet
- Control
- Born To It
- Finishing It

Since each of these areas could be considered a topic for discussion in their own right, they will be serialized over multiple diary entries.

Fitness / Physical Health

There is no question that the fitness levels of a full contact martial artist are far higher than that of Mr. Average. I firmly believe that the human body is not designed to exist in an unfit (at best) or obese (at worst) state. Physical and mental 'fitness' is important to me and Budo helps me in both regards.

By day, I teach Business Communication Skills to corporate clients in Germany. By night, I am husband to a loving wife and father to a perfect daughter. Somewhere around and between these things, I practice martial arts. Unfortunately, the nature of my job involves large amounts of sitting around, talking and listening. It's fair to say that these really aren't the most physical of activities and no amount of deskside 'butt clenches' are going to keep me in physical shape (not that I have ever tried them!). On the positive side, a healthy mind is certainly a vocational prerequisite.

My ex-boss used to say, "If you want to improve the mind, stimulate the body. If you want to improve the body, stimulate the mind." He was right. There is a definite link between the two. Taking care of mind and body (as one) leads to a very centered feeling and I can only assume that this natural feeling of harmony is not a coincidence.

Sure, there are easier ways to stay in shape. But, they don't really engage the mind and the body in the way that martial arts does. I've tried other solutions - fitness centers, gyms, running, jogging, yoga, badminton, swimming - in the end, these things bore me to tears. The body is put through its paces but the mind could be taking a six week cruise around the Hawaiian islands and it wouldn't make a difference. I don't have the patience for more conventional forms of exercise. The treadmill makes me feel like a hamster on a wheel and the idea of standing in front of a mirror with heavy objects in both hands is a little too narcissistic for me. Let's face it, just how often can I watch myself lifting heavy objects before losing my mind to mad cow disease?

Kyokushin Budokai (full contact Karate and Judo combined) demands both a physical and mental commitment. It is demanding in ways that continuously challenge my physical and mental capabilities. A full contact, all round fight, has often been compared to 'Human Chess'. I like this analogy. I believe it's fitting and it's a game that I like to play.

Self Esteem

I was raised in a somewhat unconventional family and those outside of it simply didn't approve. In order to help me understand this, I was regularly and severely beaten by large groups of well intentioned individuals, all certain that I would learn the error of my ways as a direct result of these little lessons. Between the ages of 8 and 14, not a day passed by where my face wasn't reintroduced to Mr. Fist and his faithful friends; Mr. Foot, Mr. Knee, Mr. Elbow, Mr. Head, occasionally Mr. Sharp-Object and, worst of all, Mr. Humiliation.

These puppets of facial reconstruction did the bidding of their masters, without pause for thought, very charitably 'teaching me a lesson' as often as they saw fit. To this day, I am actually grateful to them for what I have learned. What was gleaned from their schooling may not be what these 'would-be-teachers' had in mind but those countless hours of instruction certainly put me on the path that I follow today.

The concept that 'little can defeat big when little is smart' is a fundamental principle of the Martial Way. An understanding of this way gave me the strength and the confidence to stand up after every beating. I was able to knowingly demonstrate that, whilst my body was broken, my mind and spirit could never be scratched. Of course, this would often antogonise my new friends and drive them to further ingenious acts of mindless violence but it didn't matter. I had learned how to smile at their frustration.

At that early age, I never really developed the physical strength or achieved the level of skill needed to overcome these packs of animals. Many of them were 'adult' and I was still a child. However, my sheer refusal to 'lie down' became a game that they would clearly never win. No matter how hard they tried, they could never really beat me. Ultimately, the experience became too humiliating for them. Finally, they simply stopped trying. Far from being allowed to celebrate their short reign as dominators of a weaker body, they were forced to submit to the unbreakable nature of a stronger spirit.

It is odd to say that I possessed the martial spirit long before I truly devloped martial skill. But, in my case - it was so. Many attain a level of false confidence through the skills they learn. Their training leads them to believe (wrongly) that their have become somehow invincible. They have, for whatever reason, failed to identify that the body is a physical thing that can be broken. To break the mind however, is another matter. The strength of the human spirit transcends anything that the physical body can be forced to endure. Each time I undergo physical pain - through my training - I am reminded that the human spirit is stronger than the body and that it can never be broken. As a person I take comfort in this. As a teacher, I take enormous pleasure in having the opportunity to help others acquire this same strength of mind, body and spirit.

Click Here to Read: Why? PartII

- Perfectionism
- Budo as a Way of Life

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Old Injuries ... Small Victories

Old Injuries

I learned something about myself last night. I discovered that I don't always find it easy to motivate myself. I was scheduled for 20 rounds of kick-boxing on the bag after a full training session of Kyokushin Kihon and conditioning. It wasn't easy to get into it last night though. Why? With me it's always the same problem - old injuries.

Now seems like a good time to outline my rather embarrassing list of injuries incurred during the last 9 months of training:

- Right foot broken in two places (twice!)
- Right hamstring torn (not pulled... ...torn)
- Torn abductor muscle (groin area)
- Torn rotator cuff in the left shoulder (bad landing out of an O Goshi)
- Dislocated both thumbs (they still don't work correctly)
- Fractured metacarpal left hand (little finger)
- Two broken ribs (another bad landing out of an O Goshi)

Of course, these are just the ones worth mentioning. In addition to these more worthy noteables, there have been countless minor mishaps (like toes getting caught in face guards). Whilst I am not proud of my little list of self inflicted injuries (clearly a number of them are a result of poorly executed technique), I am proud of the fact that they have never stopped me training. I've never missed a session through injury - not one.

Last week we did 'a little bit of board breaking'. No cloth, just boards. I must admit, it was great fun! In order to prepare ourselves for the breaking, we first 'conditioned' our knuckles a little; bare knuckle pushups outdoors on the concrete, bare knuckle 'wheel barrows' on the concrete, bare knuckle jumping pushups... ...on the concrete. By the end of it, there was literally no skin on my Tsuki knuckles (the first two knuckles) and I was bleeding like a gutted pig. Still, those boards were pretty aggressive and I had to be sure that I was ready for them!

As you can imagine, 20 rounds of kickboxing (without boxing gloves) on a heavy bag is no fun with very little skin on the knuckles. So, last nights training was a bit of a problem. Combine that with the fact that my thighs and shin bones are permanently bruised - as a result of 'low kick conditioning' - and the thought of unloading on a bag was not something I was looking forward to.

We regularly - pretty much every session - condition our legs for low kicks. In other words, we stand there like lemons and allow our training partners to unload load low kicks against our waiting - though not always willing - thighs. The end result is that my legs are permanently and fairly severely bruised. But, I must admit, I really don't feel it if a low kick gets through during Kumite. It's training that causes the problem. The slightest touch - when adrenaline isn't pumping - feels like I'm getting hit with the pointy end of a hammer.

Here's a quick look at the current (and ongoing) condition of my legs:

I have to admit it, with bleeding knuckles, bruised up legs and an absent training partner, it wasn't easy to give myself the mental nudge needed to start bag training.

Small Victories

Round one of twenty (two minute rounds) began with the best of intentions but my knuckles weren't interested. Small messages of pain were stabbing me in the brain and saying, "This is only going to make things worse. Go home!" I nearly listened too. I was alone in the Dojo and no one would have had any idea if I just quit. No one except me. I needed a solution. I need these bag workouts in order to maintain and improve upon my conditioning. The problem is, these damn injuries keep getting in the way. That's when I came up with solution number one... ...soft gloves.

I really don't know why I thought 3mm of leather was going to stop the pain or the continued demise of my knuckles but it was worth the shot. Of course, it didn't work, my knuckles tore up a little more and my gloves just got wet on the inside (blood can do that). "Forget it!", I thought. "I'm going home". I wasn't really in the mood anyway.

Although I didn't want to aggravate my injuries, I really do need the conditioning. That's when it hit me. Damaged knuckles are not a reason to stop training, they're just a reason to stop using the knuckles. I took off my gloves and did the entire workout using Shuto (knife-hand), Shotei (palm-heel) and Hiji (elbow) techniques - for all 20 rounds. Perfect! All the benefits - in terms of cardio - without the downside of further damaging my knuckles.

My legs still hurt like hell with every kick of course. But, the trick there was "not minding that it hurts". Pain is something I could ignore. It was further damage that I was trying to avoid.

Last night, I almost quit. But, with a little thought, a lot of determination and a sheer bloody minded refusal to know when to give up, I managed to hold off the excuses. As a bonus, I improved my open hand techniques immeasurably and they now pack as much power as my punches. Not a bad turn around. Not bad at all.

Last night was an evening of small victories. My mum puts it best, "Where there's a will, there's a way."

Thanks for the advice mum. It came in handy.

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Day One on the Long Road

I must be honest. I've never really taken anything to completion. I'm very easily bored and have a habit of dropping what I'm doing as soon as I develop the feeling that I have 'learned that which I'm trying to learn'. The thing is, lately I've been wondering.

Am I truly moving on to things of greater interest or am I simply avoiding the possibilitly of failure? Perhaps I should explain more clearly.

If I don't follow something through to completion - then I can't possibly fail. I aquire skills that I can claim are not quite 100% because I never really finished the course/training. If I finish what I start then I will have no excuse for being 'almost perfect'.

I am now practising Kyokushin Budokai. I have an opportunity to take something to completion and already the excuses are creeping in; the gradings have been overly simplified, I'll be leaving the country soon, I'm not spending enough time with my family.

Of course, some of these things are not really excuses. They are serious obstacles that are to be dealt with if I wish to progress. So, here and now I make a pledge to myself: "I will not fail. Nothing and no-one will stop me from achieving my goal; 30 men, 30 fights, no protection."

This diary/blog is the first step in ensuring that I acheive that which I have set out to do. If I do not follow my training programme (seen here) then this is the place where I will make my excuses. Making it public by publishing it at http://www.kyokushinbudokai.org/ is just added motivation. I have no intention of embarrassing myself so, I guess I'll be following my programme closely...

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